Adhd Makes asking for Help Hard. Here are some Tips on How to do it Anyway.
For many women with ADHD, the act of asking for help can feel like an insurmountable hurdle. This difficulty spans across various facets of life, from personal relationships to professional environments, often leading to feelings of isolation and emotional distress. But why is this such a common struggle among women with ADHD, and how can they overcome it to foster self-confidence and build supportive networks?
Why Asking For Help Is Hard: The Root of the Problem
The reluctance to seek help often stems from early life experiences. Many women with ADHD have faced childhood shame or embarrassment when their needs were dismissed or misunderstood. This form of early invalidation can set a precedent, teaching them that their requests for assistance might lead to further shame or rejection.
Why Asking For Help is So Important
Learning to ask for help is not just about overcoming a personal barrier; it's a crucial skill for self-advocacy and accommodation. It's a step towards recognizing our interdependence in both professional and personal spheres. Embracing this vulnerability can be a significant career move and a pathway to personal growth. Contrary to the fears that hold many back, psychological research indicates that people are generally more willing to assist than we expect, especially when requests are made clearly and directly.
Steps for Asking For Help
Acknowledging the cost of not seeking help is a critical first step. The patterns developed in childhood to avoid criticism can, in adulthood, become barriers to learning and growth. Realizing that change is possible is empowering and the first step towards a different outcome.
Being specific about what you need help with can significantly improve the likelihood of receiving the support you desire. Remember, offering assistance is also rewarding for the helper, creating a positive feedback loop that benefits both parties.
Phrases to Kickstart the Conversation When Asking for Help
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-"Would you be willing to help me with X?"
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"I'm finding X challenging and could use some guidance. Could you explain it to me or give me a hand?"
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"Could you assist me by doing X?"
Reflecting on Past Experiences with Needing and Asking for Help as an Adhd Girl
Consider the messages you received about asking for help in different areas of your life: school, home, and relationships. Reflecting on these can provide insights into your current hesitations. Also, think about situations where seeking help could have made a significant difference in your understanding or performance, whether at work or in personal matters.
Moving Forward
Asking for help is a skill that, like any other, requires practice and patience to develop. For women with ADHD, mastering this skill can lead to enhanced self-confidence, deeper connections, and a more supportive environment. It's about changing the narrative from one of isolation to one of community and growth. Remember, seeking assistance is not a sign of weakness but a step towards empowerment and self-reliance.
Kristen McClure: Neurodivergent-Affirming ADHD Therapist and Coach with 30 years experience in North Carolina and South Carolina Offering virtual therapy and coaching services across North Carolina, including Ashville, Raleigh, Durham, Wilmington, Greenville, and more. Also serving major South Carolina cities such as Charleston, Columbia, Greenville, Spartanburg, Rock Hill, and more.