Why It Feels So Hard to Leave an Unfulfilling Job
For many women with ADHD, the idea of leaving an unfulfilling job can feel overwhelming and impossible to tackle. Even when the work drains your energy and no longer aligns with your values, taking the steps to leave might feel like too much to manage.
Understanding why ADHD makes leaving jobs hard—and learning how to address these challenges—can help you break free from patterns that keep you stuck. With the right strategies, you can overcome these obstacles and make bold moves toward a more fulfilling career.
In this blog, we’ll explore some of the reasons you might feel stuck in your current role and share practical steps to help you move forward with confidence. Let’s dive in.
Why It Matters
Workplace dissatisfaction is common, but for women with ADHD, it can take a greater toll. A toxic or ill-fitting job doesn’t just create frustration—it can magnify ADHD challenges, sap your energy, and lower your self-esteem. This can lead to a cycle of burnout and stagnation that’s difficult to escape.
Breaking free from this cycle matters because your work should align with your strengths, values, and needs—not drain your sense of self. Understanding why ADHD makes leaving jobs hard is the first step toward creating a healthier career path.
What You Need to Know About ADHD and Employment
Fear of Change: The Weight of Uncertainty
For many individuals with ADHD, the fear of change is a major roadblock. The idea of leaving a job—even an unhealthy one—can feel terrifying. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), which heightens emotional responses to perceived criticism or failure, can make stepping into the unknown even harder.
It’s not just about finding a new job or succeeding in it—it’s the emotional toll of leaving behind the familiar, even when it’s not serving you. The unknown often feels more overwhelming than staying in a situation that’s draining, which is why fear of change is a key reason why ADHD makes leaving jobs hard.
Fear of Letting Others Down: The Responsibility Trap
Another significant hurdle is the fear of letting down coworkers, a feeling that’s especially strong for many women with ADHD. In toxic workplaces, where employees are often stretched thin, leaving can feel like abandoning the team. If one person leaves, others may be left to pick up the slack.
This sense of responsibility creates an emotional trap, making it hard to prioritize personal well-being over the perceived needs of others. It’s another factor that explains why ADHD makes leaving jobs hard, even when staying isn’t healthy.
Emotional Overinvestment
ADHD traits like hyperfocus and emotional intensity can lead to strong attachments to coworkers or certain job tasks. These ties can make it hard to step back and evaluate the overall job, even when dissatisfaction outweighs the positives.
Overcommitment and Perfectionism
Women with ADHD often feel the need to work harder to prove themselves or “fix” bad situations at work. Perfectionism can also kick in, making them feel like they’re never fully prepared to move on to a new role.
Task Paralysis and Transitions
The practical side of leaving a job—updating resumes, networking, and applying—can feel overwhelming. ADHD brains crave structure, and the chaos of transitioning to a new job can feel like too much to handle. This logistical challenge is a major reason why ADHD makes leaving jobs hard.
The Sunk Cost Fallacy
For many women with ADHD, it’s hard to leave because of the time and effort they’ve already invested in a job. This “sunk cost” mindset can make it difficult to see the potential benefits of moving on.
Taking Action: How to Move Forward in Your Career
Feeling stuck in a job that doesn't match your strengths or needs can feel overwhelming, but you’re not alone. The good news? You can take steps to explore your options and build a more fulfilling career. Let's break this process into manageable steps that you can follow at your own pace.
1. Explore Accommodations Before Making Major Changes
Before leaving your current job, consider whether small changes might make your role more manageable and enjoyable. Adjustments like flexible hours, fewer meetings, or a quieter work environment can significantly improve your well-being.
Why it helps: Accommodations can ease stress and make your job more sustainable. Plus, this gives you breathing room while you explore other options.
How to try it: Think about what changes could make your workday easier. Would remote work help? Could you ask for a different workload? Have a conversation with your employer—you may find they are more supportive than you expect.
2. Cultivate Self-Awareness
If adjustments aren’t enough, it's important to understand why your job feels unfulfilling. Self-awareness is key; it helps you figure out what aspects of work energize you and what drains you, allowing you to make more informed decisions.
Why it helps: Understanding your likes and dislikes helps you identify the kind of work that aligns better with your strengths.
How to try it: Keep a journal to track how you feel during different parts of your day. When do you feel most energized? When do you feel overwhelmed or frustrated? Practicing mindfulness or seeking help from a therapist can also provide valuable insights.
3. Reframe Your Fear of Change
Change can feel daunting, but fear often comes from stepping out of your comfort zone. By breaking the process into smaller, manageable actions, you can tackle change without feeling overwhelmed.
Why it helps: Instead of dwelling on potential challenges, this step helps you focus on the positive outcomes—more balance, new growth opportunities, or even improved mental health.
How to try it: Start small. Research a company that interests you, or reach out to a friend who’s made a career change. Write down the potential benefits—better work-life balance, a role that feels meaningful, or even just a lighter workload.
4. Address Emotional Overcommitment
Do you feel guilty about leaving your current job? Many people struggle with emotional attachment to coworkers or a sense of loyalty to their team, but it’s essential to prioritize your own well-being.
Why it helps: Shifting your focus away from others’ expectations allows you to concentrate on your goals. Remember, caring for yourself is a smart and necessary choice.
How to try it: Set boundaries for yourself at work and remind yourself that it’s okay to prioritize your happiness. Visualize where you want to be in five years and ask yourself if staying in your current role is holding you back.
5. Build Confidence in Your Decision-Making
Making significant decisions, like changing jobs, can feel overwhelming—especially if you lack confidence in your own judgment. Practicing smaller decisions can help build trust in your ability to make bigger choices over time.
Why it helps: Decision-making gets easier with practice, like building a muscle. Over time, you’ll gain confidence in your ability to choose what’s best for you.
How to try it: Start with small, low-stakes decisions—like choosing where to eat or what to watch. For more significant decisions, lean on trusted mentors, friends, or career coaches who can help you see your strengths and guide you through the process.
6. Normalize Career Changes
Career changes often feel like a major upheaval, but they’re a normal and healthy part of professional growth. Reframing how you view transitions can help you approach them with excitement instead of fear.
Why it helps: Viewing career changes as opportunities makes them feel less like "starting over" and more like intentional steps forward.
How to try it: When talking to potential employers, frame your career moves as deliberate decisions to find a role that fits you better. Remind yourself that growth is a process—each change is a step toward a better alignment with your skills and passions.
Advocating for Yourself
Throughout this journey, building a support network is crucial. Having people to turn to makes it easier to navigate the emotional and practical challenges of career change.
Why it helps: Support from others who’ve experienced similar situations can be encouraging and give you fresh perspectives. Plus, you’ll feel less alone as you navigate the process.
How to try it: Find a mentor, career coach, or therapist to help you explore your doubts and plan your next steps. Consider joining ADHD-focused or career-focused groups for shared advice. Highlight your unique strengths—like creativity, adaptability, and resilience—during interviews and performance reviews.
Why This Approach Works
Each step builds on the last to create a sustainable path forward. You can improve your immediate work environment by starting with accommodations without rushing into significant decisions. Self-awareness and confidence-building help you clarify your needs and make more informed choices. Finally, reframing career transitions and building a support network empower you to embrace new opportunities with optimism and confidence.
In Summary
ADHD traits—like rejection sensitivity, hyperfocus, and task paralysis—can make it tough to leave a job, even when it’s unfulfilling. But by breaking the process into smaller steps, reframing fears, and leaning on support, you can take charge of your career and find work that aligns with your values and strengths.
You’re not stuck because you’re broken—navigating a world that wasn’t designed for neurodivergent brains. With the right tools and support, you can create a career path that feels meaningful and empowering.
Kristen McClure: Neurodivergent-Affirming ADHD Therapist and Coach with 30 years in North Carolina and South Carolina Offering virtual therapy and coaching services across North Carolina, including Ashville, Raleigh, Durham, Wilmington, Greenville, and more. Also serving major South Carolina cities such as Charleston, Columbia, Greenville, Spartanburg, Rock Hill, and more.