ADHD and Talking to Yourself: Boost Your Executive Functions!
Talking to yourself is not just a quirky habit—it can actually strengthen your executive functions! Engaging in self-talk can help you process information, find solutions to problems, and enhance your memory. It can also increase your motivation and focus. In our fast-paced world, it's easy to become overwhelmed or lost in thought, but talking to yourself can help you slow down, think more clearly, and reduce stress and anxiety.
Why Talking to Yourself Helps Women with ADHD
Children naturally use speech to plan, self-regulate, and achieve their goals. For adults with ADHD, especially women, speech is a powerful tool for self-regulation. By externalizing your thoughts, you bring what’s inside your head into the outside world, which can strengthen your executive functioning. Here's why talking to yourself might just be the best tool in your ADHD toolkit—and it’s free!
It doesn’t make you crazy; it makes you smart. Here are three ways to start talking to yourself today.
1. Talking to Yourself to Learn from Mistakes
How Self-Talk Can Help You Learn from Mistakes
One powerful way to use self-talk is to frame your mistakes in the third person. Instead of asking, "Why did I fail?" try asking, "Why did Kristen fail?" This slight shift in perspective can reduce defensiveness and make it easier to learn from failures—especially for people who are sensitive to criticism.
For women with ADHD, this technique can be particularly helpful in overcoming rejection sensitivity dysphoria. By distancing yourself slightly from the emotion, you can evaluate your mistakes more objectively and learn from them without getting overwhelmed.
Practical Steps to Implement This Strategy:
- Reflect on Mistakes Out Loud: Before analyzing a mistake, remind yourself of your past achievements. "Kristen, remember how far you've come before you think about this mistake."
- Use a Journal or Recorder: Write down or record your reflections to make them tangible. This practice externalizes your thoughts, making it easier to process them.
- Ask Yourself Constructive Questions: Frame questions in the third person to gain new perspectives. "What can Kristen learn from this experience?"
2. Talking to Yourself to Stay Focused on Goals
How Self-Talk Helps with ADHD Goals and Tasks
Using self-talk can also keep you on track with your goals. Organized speech is vital for goal-setting and task completion, as emphasized by ADHD expert Russell Barkley. For instance, if you're on a diet and find yourself in a bakery, use self-talk to remind yourself, "I am here to buy a healthy snack, not a sugary treat."
Steps to Practice This Out Loud:
- Plan Ahead with Self-Talk: Prepare your statements before facing a challenging situation. "I will stay focused on my goal of eating healthily."
- Encourage and Motivate Yourself: Use phrases like "I can do this" or "Stick to the plan."
- Create Reminders: Use post-its, journal entries, or audio recordings to reinforce your goals. "Remember why you started this journey."
Practical Tips for Daily Use:
- Practice Out Loud: Rehearse your self-talk strategies out loud when planning or meeting goals. For example, "I'm entering the room to pick up my book, and I won’t get distracted."
- Use Visual Cues: Place reminders around your home to reinforce your goals and avoid distractions.
3. Talking to Yourself to Manage Emotions
Using Self-Talk to Regulate Emotions with ADHD
Self-talk can be an effective tool for managing emotions such as anxiety, anger, or sadness. Developing a calming mantra can help soothe your mind during overwhelming moments. Phrases like "This too shall pass" or "Stay calm and take a break" can be very grounding.
Implement This Self-Soothing Technique:
- Create a List of Calming Phrases: Keep a list of go-to phrases like "Emotions are temporary" or "You’re doing your best."
- Practice in Real-Time: When feeling overwhelmed, say these phrases out loud to regain control.
- Use Visualization Tools: Pair your verbal affirmations with visual cues around your space that remind you to stay calm and centered.
Conclusion: Talk Loud and Proud!
For people with ADHD, making internal processes external—such as through speech—can be incredibly beneficial. The next time you find yourself talking to yourself, embrace it! Whether you’re speaking out loud or writing your thoughts down, self-talk is a valuable tool for regulating emotions, staying on track, and achieving your goals.
Remember, it's not about sounding crazy; it's about being smart and proactive. So start practicing self-talk today and see the benefits for yourself!
Additional Resources:
Leave ADHD and talking to yourself for these other pages.
Learn more about adhd and talking to yourself from this aricle about failure
Read more about executive functions and adhd here
Learn about Assertiveness Here
Medical Disclaimer:
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