Puberty can be a tough journey for any teenager, but for ADHD girls during puberty, it comes with unique challenges that can feel overwhelming. The emotional highs and lows, shifting social dynamics, and new responsibilities of adolescence can amplify ADHD traits, making it easy for them to feel misunderstood or left out. However, with the right support, we can help ADHD girls during puberty navigate this time in a way that celebrates their strengths. Here’s a look at why neurodivergent-affirming approaches make a difference and what supportive strategies can look like.
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The Unique Challenges Girls with ADHD Face During Puberty
Emotional Roller Coaster
Hormonal changes during puberty can make emotional regulation harder, especially for girls with ADHD. They often experience intense feelings but may struggle to express or control them. This can lead to misunderstandings with friends and family, along with risks like self-harm or emotional outbursts.
Social Struggles Intensify
During puberty, friendships and social connections become more complex. Girls with ADHD may find it challenging to keep up with social cues, leading to feelings of exclusion or bullying. This can damage self-esteem and make them feel isolated.
Increased Risk-Taking Behaviors
ADHD often brings impulsivity, and during puberty, the urge to “fit in” can drive girls toward risky choices, like experimenting with substances or pushing social boundaries in unhealthy ways.
Development of Eating Disorders
Puberty can bring up body image issues, but girls with ADHD may also experience sensory sensitivities that make eating difficult. Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) can emerge as a result, especially if they have strong aversions to certain textures or tastes.
Struggling to Adjust and Handle New Responsibilities
With the increasing responsibilities of school, family, and social life, girls with ADHD may feel overwhelmed by daily tasks. Their difficulty with focus, organization, and time management can cause challenges in adapting to these changes, which may strain their relationships or affect school performance.
Neurodivergent-Affirming Supports for Girls with ADHD During Puberty
These neurodivergent-affirming approaches focus on celebrating strengths and providing support that respects the unique experiences of girls with ADHD. Let’s look at some strategies that can make a positive impact:
Emotion-Acknowledgment Practices
Rather than trying to “fix” emotional reactions, help them recognize and label their emotions without judgment. This can involve teaching mindfulness or simple breathing exercises that help them pause and process feelings in the moment.
Strength-Based Social Skills Support
Build on their social strengths, whether it’s creativity, humor, or empathy, instead of forcing “normal” social rules. Encourage them to embrace their unique personality and be true to themselves in relationships.
Sensory-Friendly Environments
Create options for sensory regulation, like quiet spaces or fidget tools, that allow them to self-soothe. Sensory breaks can be a game-changer, giving them a space to reset without feeling pressured to conform.
Flexible Routine Building
Establish routines that offer structure without being rigid. By honoring their natural energy levels and focus times, you’re allowing them to develop a rhythm that works for them, rather than enforcing a strict schedule that might lead to frustration.
Choice-Based Coping Tools
Provide a variety of coping methods, such as art, movement, quiet time, or journaling, so they can choose what works best for them in the moment. This empowers them to manage stress in a way that feels natural and effective.
Encouragement for Special Interests
Let them dive deep into the hobbies and interests that bring them joy. Special interests can build confidence and provide positive outlets for their energy, creating bridges to connect with others and express their authentic selves.
Positive Affirmations and Self-Talk
Teach them to use affirmations and positive self-talk that embrace their neurodivergent traits as strengths. Help them reframe challenges in ways that build confidence rather than discouragement.
Peer Support Networks
Connect them with other neurodivergent peers who can relate to their experiences. Being part of a community where they feel understood can reduce feelings of isolation and help build self-esteem.
Trauma-Informed Professional Support
Seek out professionals who understand ADHD and neurodiversity. Trauma-informed therapists or ADHD coaches can provide a safe space and use affirming approaches that recognize and respect their unique needs.
Rejection-Sensitivity Strategies
Equip them with tools for handling rejection sensitivity, such as self-compassion practices or role-playing difficult scenarios. By helping them understand and accept their sensitivity, they can begin to see it as a strength, not a flaw.
Conclusion
Puberty can be a turbulent time, but with the right, affirming support, girls with ADHD can navigate it in a way that celebrates who they are. Rather than trying to “fix” or “normalize” them, these neurodivergent-affirming approaches focus on empowering them to thrive. Early support that recognizes their strengths and unique needs is key to helping them grow into confident, resilient young adults.
Call to Action: If you or someone you know is supporting a girl with ADHD, consider using these neurodivergent-affirming approaches to make a lasting positive impact.