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If you’ve struggled with setting and reaching goals as a woman with ADHD, you aren’t alone.
Neurotypical goal-setting strategies likely don’t work for you. The ADHD brain is built differently and functions uniquely regarding planning, organization, time management, and task initiation. It’s hard to imagine future goals, let alone create a plan to reach them. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and discouraged.
Women with ADHD encounter unique obstacles in goal-setting that stem from three main areas: biological, psychological, and societal pressures.
How is Goal Setting Different for Women?
Hormonal Impact on Goal Setting
Biologically, hormonal fluctuations during different phases of life make it hard to be consistent. The menstrual cycle, pregnancy, perimenopause, and menopause can exacerbate ADHD symptoms due to fluctuations in dopamine connected with estrogen, making it difficult to maintain consistent focus and progress.
Mental Health Impact on Goal Setting
Psychologically, women with ADHD often experience higher rates of anxiety and depression, leading to internalized failures and a diminished sense of self-worth, making it hard to persist and reach goals.
Social Impact on Goal Setting
Societally, women face late diagnosis and more significant pressures to multitask and balance caregiving responsibilities, which often results in setting goals that reflect external expectations rather than personal passions. Masking behaviors further complicate authentic goal-setting, as women may hide their true desires to fit in.
This page discusses ADHD-specific strategies that capitalize on the strengths of the ADHD brain, along with research-backed insights explaining why these methods are more effective.
1. Choose Goals That Match Your Passions
Many ADHD women set goals that reflect societal expectations rather than their true passions, which leads to immediate resistance. Research shows that intrinsic motivation—or doing activities you genuinely enjoy—leads to higher persistence and engagement in ADHD individuals (Deci & Ryan, 2000). When your goals align with your passions, your brain releases more dopamine, sustaining your attention and effort.
How to do it: Set goals around activities that make you lose track of time. Consider what excites you and build your goals from there.
Example: If you love art, a goal to paint or draw regularly will feel enjoyable and fulfilling. This will keep your motivation high because you’re doing something you love.
2. Use Hyperfocus as a Superpower
Hyperfocus, an intense concentration on captivating tasks, is a well-documented phenomenon in ADHD brains (Hupfeld et al., 2019). While ADHD is often associated with distractibility, hyperfocus allows you to enter a "flow state," achieving remarkable productivity and progress on passion-driven goals.
How to do it: Allow free time blocks to work on a goal instead of pre-scheduled ones. When hyperfocus hits, immerse yourself in the task.
Example: If you're writing a book, immerse yourself in writing when you're drawn to it. This can lead to breakthroughs driven by hyperfocus. Maximize your unique focus patterns by allowing space for intense engagement.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
ADHD women often struggle with self-criticism, which can hinder goal progress. Research shows that self-compassion improves motivation and resilience in individuals with ADHD (Koster et al., 2021). Treating yourself with kindness creates a supportive environment for growth and learning.
How to do it: Acknowledge setbacks without harsh judgment. Recognize that progress isn't always linear, especially with ADHD. Celebrate small wins along the way.
Example: If you miss a day of working towards your goal, instead of criticizing yourself, say, "It's okay. I'm human, and tomorrow is a new opportunity."
4. Keep Your Goals Flexible
Rigid plans frustrate ADHD brains, as executive function deficits make sticking to one path challenging. A study by Pfiffner and Barkley (1998) found that ADHD individuals perform better with flexibility and creativity rather than following a linear process.
How to do it: Focus on your desired outcome but allow flexibility in methods. Use self-compassion to avoid being overly critical if an approach fails. Women need to be especially flexible because during the luteal phase of their cycle they
Example: If your goal is to exercise regularly, don’t limit yourself to one activity. Try different forms like yoga or dancing, and adapt to maintain interest and motivation.
5. Connect Your Goals to Your Values
Aligned goals with core values have greater meaning, crucial for maintaining motivation in ADHD individuals. Research within self-determination theory suggests that goals tied to personal values are more likely to be achieved (Deci & Ryan, 2000).
How to do it: Set specific, meaningful goals that reflect your values. Replace vague objectives like "be healthier" with actionable, value-driven goals.
Example: Instead of aiming to "get fit," try "get fit enough to hike with friends because I love spending time with them."
6. Find Positive Accountability
Research suggests that ADHD brains benefit from positive external accountability (Safren et al., 2005). While negative accountability can increase anxiety or shame, a supportive partner can encourage progress and provide motivation without pressure.
How to do it: Work with someone who understands your ADHD challenges and celebrates your successes. Share your goals with a friend, partner, or coach who provides positive reinforcement and helps you stay flexible.
Example: Meet a friend for lunch weekly to share progress. Ensure this friend is your cheerleader and celebrates your efforts.
7. Reward Yourself Regularly
ADHD brains respond strongly to immediate rewards due to dopamine dysregulation (Volkow et al., 2009). Regular rewards reinforce positive behavior and maintain engagement.
How to do it: Break your goals into smaller tasks and reward yourself after each step. Rewards can be simple but meaningful, like taking a break to watch your favorite show or treating yourself to something small.
Tip: Focus on positive reinforcement instead of punishing yourself for setbacks. ADHDers often struggle with self-criticism, so rewarding small successes can keep you moving forward without feeling discouraged.
- Barkley, R. A. (2011).Barkley Deficits in Executive Functioning Scale (BDEFS) for Adults. Guilford Press.
- Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000).The "what" and "why" of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227-268.
- Hupfeld, K. E., Abagis, T. R., & Shah, P. (2019).Living "in the zone": Hyperfocus in adult ADHD. ADHD Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorders, 11(2), 191-208.
- Hallowell, E. M., & Ratey, J. J. (2005).Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder. Ballantine Books.
- Safren, S. A., Sprich, S., Chulvick, S., & Otto, M. W. (2005).Psychosocial treatments for adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 27(2), 377-390.
- Volkow, N. D., Wang, G. J., Kollins, S. H., Wigal, T. L., Newcorn, J. H., & Telang, F. (2009).Evaluating dopamine reward pathway in ADHD: Clinical implications. The Journal of the American Medical Association, 302(10), 1084-1091.
- Quinn, P. O. (2008).Attention Deficit Disorder in Women: A Different Diagnosis? Advances in ADHD, 2(1), 6-12.
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